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    • Brenda Nettles Riojas
      Editor of The Valley Catholic
    • A life in balance – joys, sorrows,
      new beginnings and transitions

      One joy we are grateful to share in this season of our lives arrived on March 26, the day after the feast of the Annunciation – the birth of our first grandson, Aquinas More Riojas. We rushed to Houston to meet him,  leaving all the pending behind in Harlingen, and so began a new love story. What a special grace that he was born as Mass was offered for him in a local parish. Since his arrival we have relished every moment spent with this little human who has further bonded our families. What follows is an open letter to my son and daughter-in-law.

      Dear Cesar and Tiffany:

      Thank you for the gift of our first grandson. The joy of meeting him soon after his birth, and the thrill of seeing him grow these first three months of his life fills our hearts to new depths we did not know possible.

      As new parents, you are experiencing new extremes of joys and sorrows as well. The joys of cuddling him in your arms, watching your precious son grow, even as sleep deprivation makes the hours feel like a jumble of feedings and diaper changes. Trying to sooth his crying makes your own yearning for a nap feel like a luxury.

      At the Benedictine Monastery of the Good Shepherd, before we end our monthly gatherings, we each share our joys and sorrows. These moments allow us to grow together, to celebrate and to pray for one another, recognizing “If [one] part suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if one part is honored, all the parts share its joy” (1 Cor 12:26).

      Among our joys on becoming first-time grandparents is witnessing how as a young family you are walking in the light of Christ, intentional about raising future saints; witnessing too, how through each step of the pregnancy – from choosing your son’s name, selecting godparents, and receiving him into the world, you asked for God’s guidance. How you, Cesar, went to confession the day he was born so that you could receive him in a state of grace. How you, Tiffany, offered up your labor pains for the conversion of those in our family who have veered away from the faith. How as a new mother you are embracing your role and referring to it as an apostolate of motherhood. How already you are sharing with your son the virtues through a children’s book you have written in his honor.

      This summer, your stay in our home graced us with four generations living together, starting with the oldest Riojas, Aquinas’ great grandmother Pila of 90 years, and ending with Aquinas himself, the youngest Riojas in the family. Together we celebrated new beginnings and at the same time navigated different transitions in our lives.

      A year ago, Pope Francis established a celebration for World Day for Grandparents and Elderly on the fourth Sunday of July. Over the course of these two years, he has provided ongoing catechesis on our elders. He talks often about the responsibility of passing on the faith, and of being artisans of a “revolution of tenderness.”

      During some of Aquinas’ fussy moments, the tenderness of a 90-year-old grandmother offered him comfort and delight. His face beamed when she sang to him the songs she once sang to her own children. One of his favorites - “Papitas, papitas para mamá, las quemaditas para papá y las tortillas son para mí”.

      Your father and I embrace our new role as grandparents. We recognize the responsibility that comes with it. We look forward to seeing Aquinas grow and pray we can be around a bit longer to see a few more grandchildren. Aquinas’ birth gifts us an abundance of joy. To an extent, he places us in a bubble of bliss that outside forces – the evil that roams in the world – cannot penetrate while we are in his presence. However, everyday life presents us with both roses and thorns.

      Among those roses is the Supreme Court’s decision June 24 to overturn Roe v. Wade; the thorns, the forces that continue to look for ways to justify the killing of innocent babies. You will encounter roses and thorns closer to home – the joys and sorrows of raising a family. It will be messy. There will be laughter. There will be tears. But every stop of the way there will be an abundance of graces.

      Along with all the joys of a new baby, you feel the sorrows that intrude in the day – fear of an uncertain future for your son in a world mired by division and unrest, a world where many have turned away from God. Amidst the joys of his first months of life, we were confronted by war in Ukraine and other the senseless acts violence in our nation – 19 children and two adults killed in Uvalde, 53 migrants found dead in a tractor-trailer in San Antonio, seven killed during a Fourth of July parade in Highland Park, Illinois. The headlines, a litany of sorrows. Do not despair. Trust always in the Lord.

      Remain firm in your faith. Look to the saints for examples. Hold tight to the joys in your life. Gather them all. Pope Francis in Evangelii Gaudium, the Joy of the Gospel, shared, “… joy is not expressed the same way at all times in life, especially in moments of great difficulty. Joy adapts and changes, but it always endures, even as a flicker of light born of our personal certainty, when everything is said and done, we are infinitely loved.”

      “In the midst of darkness something new always springs to life and sooner or later produces fruit. On razed land life breaks through, stubbornly yet invincibly. However, dark things are, goodness always re emerges and spreads. Each day in our world beauty is born anew, it rises transformed through the storms of history.” (Evangelii Gaudium, 276)

      As you journey together on this pilgrimage and raise your family, “Consider it all joy” (Jas 1:1). The Lord accompanies you always. Remember his presence in the Eucharist. May it nourish you, and may you find ways to share the blessings and graces in your life with others. By loving and caring for your family, you are doing your part to bring peace in the world.

      With all my love,
      Mom (aka Nana Riojas)









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