In Family Ministry presentations to engaged couples, married couples, and/or parents, I often state that I feel like I have the best job in the world because I have the blessing to talk about faith and family every day. I know that I would not be able to do this without the strong support of my husband of 47 years. Mauri has taught me and continues to teach me what self-emptying love is, by his actions more than by his words.

Jesus teaches us self-emptying love by the Paschal Mystery of his life, death and resurrection. And as his disciples, that is our call: to love, serve, and sacrifice our life for the good of others — in particular, our family. As much as we strive to live that self-emptying love in our families, we know that as families, we all experience struggles and brokenness.

Recently, Helen Alvaré (a member of the Vatican’s Dicastery for Laity, Family, and Life) sent all the Family Life directors of the country a book entitled Endgame: The Church’s Strategic Move to Save Faith and Family in America. The results of very recent research on the state of faith and family in America as well as some of the suggestions for us as Church to strengthen faith and family by providing marriage building opportunities is both challenging and hopeful. The following are a few points from this book:

1. “Faith and family life have hit record lows even as science continues to mount telling us how much they matter for the welfare of men, women, and children. Recent data from Gallup: church membership in the U.S. fell to a record low in 2020: 47%.”

2. “Faith and family are playing a smaller role in lives of ordinary Americans than ever … YET … Gallup also found in 2020 that two groups of Americans were especially resilient in the face of COVID’s myriad health, economic, and social trials: CHURCHGOING AND MARRIED AMERICANS.

3. To renew the Church and spread the Gospel in the 21st century, the Church today can provide opportunities for improving relationship health in marriages and families.

4. Relationships are a vehicle for fulfilling the commandments of God- a vehicle which must be intentionally run with virtues and skills. The authors quote Aristotle in the Nicomachean Ethics: “Anyone can get angry-that is easy … but to do this to the right person, to the right extent, for the right reason, and in the right way is no longer something easy”.

5. “ … the unmet needs of dating, marriage, and family relationships within our communities have created the opportunity (and responsibility) for churches to step in and offer relationship content that improves those relationships, builds rapport, and ultimately, opens hearts to the Gospel and grows churches.”

6. “True discipleship, true edification of the believers, and true ministry within the body of Christ must first and foremost build and sustain strong relationship skills and virtues that enable all relationships – but most importantly, marriage and family relationships- to fulfill the Great Commandment to love God and love others.”

Two resources that might be helpful for us to share with family members (or for our own families) are:

• 65 Dates To Renew Your Christian Marriage”: Increasing Your Emotional Intimacy One Question at a Time (Catholic Edition) by Catholic Counselor Dana Nygaard, MA. LPC, and

• Discovering God Together: The Catholic Guide to Raising Faithful Children” by Dr. Gregory and Lisa Popcak.

Mauri and I have absolutely been relishing the 365 Dates to Renew Your Christian Marriage book. Where we used to take “dialogue questions” with us for our 5:15 a.m. walks, right now we are carrying this book with us in our vehicle and we make a “date” of many of our drives from Edinburg to San Juan or back by sharing the questions.

The following are a few questions from the book to give you an idea of the variety of interesting questions to be enjoyed:

• What one adjective best describes you?

• If you could time travel to meet family members, would you rather go back in history or into the future? Would there be enough evidence to convict you if you were put on trial for your Catholic faith?

• Is there something I could do daily to make your life easier or happier?

In the book Discovering God together: The Catholic Guide to Raising Faithful Kids, the Popcaks share many wonderful nuggets of wisdom, including rituals and routines to assist us in growing our domestic church/our family, including giving children blessings and praying for them. They give examples that can be adapted or simply as samples of how we as families can strengthen our faith together with our children and grandchildren. One example of night time prayer:

Lord, thank you for this wonderful child. Bless him. Help him to know what a gift he is to this family and to the world. Give him a good night’s sleep, and help him wake up ready to bless you. ... Above all, let him love you with all his heart, mind, soul and strength all the days of his life, and love others as you love him. Amen.

May the Holy Spirit guide us to assist one another in enhancing ourmarriages, our faith, and our families.