Family life is sacred and filled with both sweet times and tough times!

When a man and a woman exchange their wedding vows, they promise their beloved to be faithful in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love and honor each other until death do them part. Although we do not speak those vows to our children when they are born or when we adopt them, that covenantal commitment is implicit to being a parent.

At every stage of the Family Life Cycle, there are rewards, challenges, and spiritual tasks. A family with a newborn rejoices with the sweetness of the wonder of new life and the innocence and pure love exuded by the infant. Moreover, although we cherish those sweet moments, often they are coupled with the challenges of sleepless nights or worries when the child is colicky or ill.

Those sweet and tough moments are prevalent at every stage as parents rejoice in grade school accomplishments, teenage academic and religious milestones, and in watching their young adults pursue their mission in life. Simultaneously, when tough times arise, parents act as a net to “catch” and support their children, youth, and young adults through discipline, prayer, and example.

Christianity has always been counter-cultural in its own way, teaching us “it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.” Jesus came to teach us that real love is “self-emptying love,” and the Paschal mystery reminds us that real love is sacrificial love.

In an address in Mexico in 2016, Pope Francis stated, “I prefer a family with a tired face from sacrifices made, rather than a pretty one which is unfamiliar with tenderness and compassion.”

This past Thanksgiving holiday, my husband and I flew to Kansas to visit our daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren. We had been hesitant to fly on a busy holiday season, but were prompted to reconsider when we heard our fourth grade grandson Elian was to have a Grandparents Day at Xavier Catholic School. We were excited about accompanying him and spending time on Thanksgiving Day with our son-in-law’s extended family. Elian was super excited to see us because we had kept our visit a surprise!

But our next surprise was that Elian came down with the flu the following day, then our daughter, followed by her husband and then the baby. We were so very grateful to God to be there to be able to help a little as they recuperated. It was an unexpected blessing.

Those moments in family life are sacred — as sacred as the sweet moments like during our last visit to Kansas when we picked apples and visited a pumpkin patch with giant pumpkins.

Sharing life with our family members and nurturing our relationships is one of God’s most precious gifts. How we live those sweet and tough times together reveals the intimacy we share in all times.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-7: “There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens. A time to give birth and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant. A time to kill and a time to heal; a time to tear down, and a time to build. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.”

May the Holy Spirit lead us to “dance” through the sweet times and tough times together as family.