These have been grace-filled days. I get to see my grandchildren daily now that my son moved his family back to Harlingen. It is extra special when we can begin the day with them at morning Mass. An added grace, the joy of our diocese serving as the start of the San Juan Diego Route for the National Eucharistic Pilgrimage. My heart is full.

The San Juan Diego Route was one of four pilgrimage routes that started on the Feast of Pentecost for a 65-day journey to Indianapolis, the site of the National Eucharistic Congress. Following the Mass at Immaculate Conception Cathedral, hundreds joined the first leg of the route, and many continued for the three days that followed leading to the final walk and Mass in San Juan. Our community continues to rejoice at participating in such a life-giving moment in the Church.

These have been moments of prayer, encounter, and renewal. In our camino, walking with Christ, we give witness; we proclaim, “Jesus, I trust in you.”

The pilgrimage has served an opportunity to detach from the distractions of the world for some time to refocus our attention on the Lord and what he is calling us to do.

Despite the extreme heat, sunburns, tired and blistered feet, joy fueled each step.  As we accompanied the Lord present in the Eucharist, we joined as a community to celebrate our faith and to support one another, to give animo on the journey. The Lord nourished us these days so that we may be his presence in the world.

Father Ignatius Shin, a Franciscan Friar of the Renewal from New York who accompanied the pilgrims, underscored the purpose of the journey as he spoke about it at Mass the day before the pilgrimage began. “On our pilgrimage,” he said, “we will carry Jesus to let people know, ‘Here is your hope.’ …We are simply witnesses, testaments, to tell the world what he has done for us.”

Bishop Mario A. Avilés spoke about how the Eucharist calls us to unity and community at an evening Mass with pilgrims at Our Lady of Mercy Church in Mercedes.

“Just as the disciples gathered around Jesus at the Last Supper, we too are gathered as one body in Christ,” he said. 

“The Eucharist,” he added, “breaks down the barriers that divide us and call us to live in communion with one another, sharing in the love and grace that we receive from the Lord.”

“Let us recognize the incredible gift Jesus has given us – a gift that sustains us, transforms us, and unites us. May our participation in the Eucharist deepen our faith, strengthening our hope, and enkindle our love. And may we, nourished by the body and blood of Christ, go forth and be his presence in the world sharing his love and mercy with all whom we encounter.”

The encounters

We could each fill pages reflecting on the encounters from our camino in the beginning day of the San Juan Diego Route. This includes the volunteers who provided water along the walk, the prayer warriors who came to each evening Mass and holy hour, the pilgrims from our own community, familiar faces of friends we don’t always see as often as we would like. The Lumen Christi Sisters, who work in the colonias in Donna, inspired us with their singing. They sang throughout the walk, their joyful and faith-filled voices leading the away, driving away fatigue.

We also had pilgrims from farther out – a doctor and nurse from Laredo who not only offered their medical advice as needed, but whose focus in following the Lord remained steadfast.

The Perpetual Pilgrims, young adults who offering up their summer vacations to accompany the Lord, each have amazing stories to share. Among them are Joshua Velasquez and MacKenzie Warrens. 

Joshua is a young adult from St. Joseph Parish in Edinburg. Regardless of the heat, he walked with a smile handing out rosaries, at times leading the procession, at other times holding the heavy portable speaker system or assisting where needed.

MacKenzie, a graduate student in Houston, is the NEP Perpetual Pilgrim Team Lead. Before the start of the walk, she organized the making of 781 rosaries. Her original goal was 650 – “enough rosaries for each of the 10 pilgrims to give away one a day for the 65 days we are together,” she said. At first, she worried about the cost and the time needed, but in the end, she was grateful to see how the Lord provided.

These are grace-filled days. There will be tiring and trying moments, joys and sorrows, but as the pilgrimage walking with the Lord reminds us, we do not walk alone. 

Let us continue our daily pilgrimage bold in our faith so that we may be his light in the world.

What is the rhythm of your day? 

St. Francis de Sales said, “We must sometimes take a step backward in order to better spring forward.”

Recently, I was forced to take a step backward after a fall and the resulting injury. While I could blame the rain and slick ground, ironically, I likely fell because of my rushed pace trying to make it to a meeting on time.

While recovering from the fall, I had to keep my ankle elevated, and this pause from moving opened time for something else. It allowed me to spring forward with writing I had been putting aside.

Our Lenten journey can serve as a way of stepping backward. Fasting, giving something up during Lent, allows us to make more room for Christ. A Lenten calendar provided by Queen of Peace Parish in Harlingen posed the questions, “How might your find more time to listen to God’s Word for you today? What must I leave behind to follow Jesus more closely?” This applies year-round. 

In an episode of The Optimal Word Podcast, “How to rest so you can thrive in work,” the hosts Dr. Kevin Majeres and Sharif Younes talked about the need for alternating work and rest, the pattern of sprints and breaks. They noted the quality of work goes down with marathoning – that push to work straight through without stopping for a break.

Stepping back allows us to recharge. It is restorative. It also gives us time to listen, refocus, to evaluate a situation, to pay attention. Perhaps something we’ve been avoiding needs attention.  Perhaps stepping away for even a moment might bring clarity. 

During our diocesan staff retreat, I had a chance to think about this further. Father Flavio Bravo, a Jesuit priest serving in Brownsville, guided us through the Ignatian Examen. He prompted us, “Think about the rhythm of your day.” 

Leading up to my fall, my rhythm was one of constant motion. It certainly feels at times that I’m driving a car without brakes. Funny – around this time, the brake fluid light went on in my car.

It took a fall to slow me down. It forced me to step back. 

We don’t have to wait for unexpected circumstances to make that happen. We can be intentional and program time to pause, to step back. When I need to pause for a moment, I find it helpful to take a short walk outside or spend some time in the chapel. Even washing the dishes serves as a healthy break. Sometimes I leave one project to work on another. A longer step back could take the form of a retreat. 

Christ himself taught us to step back by example. I like the meditation Henri J.M. Nouwen shares in his book “Out of Solitude: Three Meditations on the Christian Life.” He references Mark 1:32-39, “In the morning, long before dawn, he got up and left the house, and went off to a lonely place and prayed there.”

Nouwen points out that “in the center of breathless activities, we hear a restful breathing. Surrounded by hours of moving, we find a moment of quiet stillness. In the heart of much involvement, there are words of withdrawal. In the midst of action, there is contemplation. And after much togetherness, there is solitude.”

Terry Hershey, author of “The Power of Pause,” asks, “Is it possible that we change the way we live, not by addition, but my subtraction?’ 

What do you need to subtract from your day, your life? What do you need to step back from so that you can spring forward? Is it social media and endless scrolling? I’m raising my hand for that one. Is it binge watching movies? Or is it taking on too many projects? Saying yes to everything? Maybe stepping back will let others step forward. It could also provide more time with loved ones and friends, or time for works of mercy. Or maybe it is time to try something new.

The Synod on Synodality was a form of stepping back for the Church. Pope Francis, when speaking at the opening of the general assembly of the Synod last October, said, “The Church is “taking a break”.  It is a break for the whole Church, as we engage in listening.”

The daily Examen offers some helpful steps to consider our rhythm. To know when to slow down, when to step back, to evaluate the movements of our days – the desolations, those that pull us away from Christ and the consolations, those that bring us closer. 

"Serve the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful song” Ps 100:1-2 

No matter what he attempts, my grandson Aquinas does it with gusto y con gusto. His energy and joy are contagious. From the way he dances in place with delight as he eats a delicious treat and the way he takes anything that looks like a microphone to sing at full voice, to his trail of “weee-e-e” when on a swing. 

In this early toddler stage, each day presents him with something new to discover and learn. You can see his facial expressions as he studies what’s before him, and then his delight as he engages in each task.

There is much we can learn from a child. My grandson’s zest for each new experience and his boldness inspire me. The word “gusto” sums up a valuable lesson from my grandson as I apply both the English and Spanish meanings to my own response to God’s call –– do everything with gusto (vigorous enjoyment) and con gusto (with pleasure).

In our mission to give testimony of Christ in the world, how we respond matters. Are we giving it our all to be bearers of joy – portadores de alegría? Are we being bold witnesses to the faith recognizing, “When we bring his presence out into the world, we can be light for others”? (National Eucharistic Revival video)

Sister Clare Crockett, who was a Servant Sister of the Home of the Mother, lived by the motto “all or nothing.” A documentary about her life provides some beautiful examples of how she worked joyfully and tirelessly up until her death at the age of 33. In our own diocese we have abundant examples of religious sisters and family and friends who give all to serving God, by serving others.

It’s easy at times to fall into the trap of routine, even in our faith life, and sadly with our encounter with Jesus in the Eucharist. The National Eucharistic Revival underway in the United States hopes “to restore understanding and devotion to this great mystery … by helping us renew our worship of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist.”

We are constantly reminded we are called to be bold witnesses to the faith. Just as Jesus was not afraid to do what was needed, we too must be courageous. To do so we must grow in the 

in the virtue of fortitude, which the Catechism of the Catholic Church states, “ensures firmness in difficulties and constancy in the pursuit of good.” (#1808)

I recognize this is a virtue I struggle with. The fear of making a mistake, or fear of what people will think, prevents me from giving my all at times. But I am thankful for the example of the saints who teach me to persevere trusting in the Lord Jesus to lead the way. 

“Do not be satisfied with mediocrity,” said St. John Paul II. “Do not be afraid to be holy! Have the courage and humility to present yourselves to the world determined to be holy, since full, true freedom is born from holiness.” These words St. John Paul II shared with youth at a meeting in Santiago de Compostela in 1999, are relevant for us today.

Pope Francis, in his message for World Day of Vocations 2019, talked about “the courage to take a risk for God’s promise.” He reflected, “on how the Lord’s call makes us bearers of a promise and, at the same time, asks of us the courage to take a risk, with him and for him.”

He said, “each of us is called – in a variety of ways – to something grand, and that our lives should not grow entangled in the nets of an ennui that dulls the heart. Every vocation is a summons not to stand on the shore, nets in hand, but to follow Jesus on the path he has marked out for us, for our own happiness and for the good of those around us.”

He adds, “We are called to be bold and decisive in seeking God’s plan for our lives.”
“Courageous,” a song by Casting Crowns, a Christian rock band, sums it up nicely,

“We were made to be courageous,” and not “watchers on the sidelines.”

The work of the synod gives focus to the fact we are part of the mission. We don’t have to wait for the final document to make a personal inquiry of ourselves – What is God calling me to do? How am I responding to his call? How am I being called to be courageous?

Fall can push us into life in the fast lane, tilt us off balance. In these final months of the year, let us try to pace ourselves. Linger a minute. Offer each pause as prayer. In an era of multitasking and our ever-growing addiction to doing things faster, when do we find – or rather, when do we make time – to slow down, to quiet our mind?

Two books I read recently speak to my own need to slow down. The first book, “Never in a Hurry: Essays on People and Places,” by Naomi Shihab Nye, reminds me to value each encounter with another. If we are not careful, we may not recognize the graces or leave room for them in the encounters with the people in our lives.

Make room for slow. 
Our Catholic faith not only encourages us to slow down, it also provides ample opportunities starting with Dies Domini, the Day of the Lord – Sunday. As the Catechism of the Catholic Church notes, “Sunday is a time for reflection, silence, cultivation of the mind and meditation which furthers the growth of the Christian interior life.” (CCC 2186)

In Dies Domini, an apostolic letter “on keeping the Lord’s Day Holy, St. John Paul II wrote, “Rest is something ‘sacred’, because it is man’s way of withdrawing from the sometimes excessively demanding cycle of earthly tasks in order to renew his awareness that everything is the work of God.” (DD #65)

He further shared, “Through Sunday rest, daily concerns and tasks can find their proper perspective: the material things about which we worry give way to spiritual values; in a moment of encounter and less pressured exchange, we see the true face of the people with whom we live.” (DD #67)

Does your calendar include intentional time to be still with the Lord, to slow your pace from the day’s rush? Alongside your work commitments, after-school activities, weekend events and gatherings, have you scheduled time for adoration, contemplative prayer, or the liturgy of the hours? You can also be intentional about celebrating Catholic feast days at home. Nurture your domestic church. Keep it simple. Pick one activity a month.

For our overall health and well-being, we can also work in time for slow in other ways – cook a meal together as a family, play a game, go on a hike (when the weather gets cooler), visit elders at a nursing home. 

My mother, who worked all day on her feet at Luby’s baking cakes and pies in a hot kitchen, found her slow in the evenings watering her red hibiscus and tending her fruit trees – the guayabas, moras, limes. And no matter how busy she was, she always made time to visit my grandmother in Matamoros. My father found his slow reading before bedtime. Sometimes a James Mitchener novel, sometimes a mystery. On weekends he fit in time for a game of chess or to take us fishing.

Two years ago, I signed up for online art classes, which gave me pause points to provide some balance to my schedule and make room for my creative spirit. And to nurture our faith life, my husband and I joined the Benedictine Oblates, whose motto “Ora et Labora” (prayer and work) reinforces a healthy rhythm in our lives. God willing, by the end of this year we will complete the two-year formation process.

We might feel guilty at times about getting off the fast lane when there is so much to do. However, if we don’t, life has a way of forcing a slowdown – age, a health crisis, or other calamity. Let’s not wait for these unexpected wake-up calls.

In the second book I read, Carl Honore, author of “In Praise of Slowness: Challenging the Cult of Speed, writes about “tempo giusto,” which translated from Italian, means “the right speed.” This is in line with the idea that every piece of music has a natural rhythm. We all need to find our own tempo – when to be fast and when to be slow.

“The smartest, most creative people know when to let the mind wander and when to knuckle down to hard work … when to be slow and when to be fast.”

Take time to find your and your family’s tempo giusto. To be still with the Lord is a perfect place to start. He is waiting for you at Mass and at adoration. 

“Slow down, you move too fast / You got to make the morning last.”
Opening lines in Simon and Garfunkel’s song, “The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin’ Groovy)

We all know how Mary’s “yes” changed the world. As we draw inspiration from the Blessed Mother, we should ask ourselves often about our own “yes” to the Lord. How are we responding? 

It is motivating to see “yes” in action. Our religious sisters in the Catholic Church, for example, 
speak of the power of saying “yes” to God’s call to serving others. Their “yes” speaks of boldness and heroism. It says, “Adsum,” Latin for, “Here I am.” Their “yes” in action gives witness to God’s love, it touches the lives of many in our community.

The Most Rev. Daniel E. Flores, Bishop of the Diocese of Brownsville, spoke of their impact in local communities during a Mass earlier this year celebrating World Day for Consecrated Life. He said religious sisters are a light who teach us how to be a light, a light that gives hope and dispels the darkness. Their work is far-reaching as they inspire people of different faith traditions and political views to collaborate to help others in need. They make Jesus known to others; they bring hope. 

During Synod conversations with interfaith and ecumenical religious leaders, participants described an admiration for the work of the Catholic Church in our community, especially in regard to its social ministry to those in need. Several described their collaborative work with sister-led initiatives of feeding the homeless and assisting immigrants. 

Women religious are like Our Lady, Mother Mary, who lived a humble and an unassuming life. Sisters, too, in their service to others, give themselves over to Christ and living for God’s people. They immerse themselves in the community accompanying the people and witnessing to God’s love as they minister to people who have fallen through the cracks. They bring peace and calm to chaos by their stable presence. The joy and animo (energy, enthusiasm, encouragement) they carry is contagious.

Their work communicates the Christian message. The people they accompany see Religious Sisters in action, the challenges along with a determination that says all is possible with God leading the way. As is said, “Actions speak louder than words.” 

Catholic Extension, which has supported the work of the Church in our diocese since the early 1920s, sponsored a pilgrimage to Rome in April with more than 60 religious sisters and lay women leaders. 

Five women serving in our diocese were among those whom Catholic Extension gathered to meet in a private audience with Pope Francis. They include Sister Norma Pimentel, Sister Fatima Santiago, Sister Doris del Carmen Santos Zavala, Sister Maria de la Paz Morales Maldonado, and Sister Maria Jesus Martinez Perez.

During the pilgrimage, Catholic Extension presented Sister Norma, who is executive director of Catholic Charities of the Rio Grande Valley, with the Spirit of Francis Award. (See page 4)
During the private audience, Pope Francis congratulated Sister Norma “for her service to the many men, women and children arriving at the southern border of the United States – that border is really hot – in search of a better future.”

Sister Fatima, with the Missionary Sisters of the Immaculate Heart of Mary (I.C.M.) and one of the founders of Proyecto Desarrollo Humano in Peñitas, also serves on the Catholic Extension Board. 

Sisters Doris, Maria de la Paz, and Maria Jesus are Missionary Catechists Lumen Christi who are participating in the U.S./Latin America Sisters Exchange Program through a Catholic Extension initiative. The three sisters are at St. Joseph Church of Donna and are working in the area that will be served by Plaza Amistad in Donna, a multi-purpose community center where nutritional, educational, medical and social services will be imparted.

As noted by Catholic Extension, “These heroic and exemplary women are each building the ‘field hospital’ Church that Pope Francis frequently speaks of, which walks in solidarity with the people who our culture and society have deemed disposable.”

It was a grace to accompany seven of the women leaders in the Church on the pilgrimage. It was fitting, too, that we started with Mass at Santa Maria Sopre Minerva Church near the tomb of St. Catherine of Siena, one of four women doctors of the Church. 

In his homily, Father Jack Wall, president of Catholic Extension, talked about the women who accompanied Jesus and connected them to women in the Church today who give witness to his love through their love and presence. He invited us pilgrims – he invites us all – to “walk with these radiant women who radiate God’s love. Follow the women who follow the Risen Christ.”

These women who follow the Risen Christ are serving women who have been trafficked, homeless and hungry in Tucson, Arizona; who are walking with families in grief in Uvalde, Texas (the victims of the mass shooting that left 19 children dead on May 24, 2022); who are providing a home for abused and neglected children in Puerto Rico; who are serving women in detention in New Mexico; who are working to ensure affordable healthcare; and who are helping the strangers who migrate to this country.

Thank you to all the team at Catholic Extension for supporting the work of the Church in our diocese and across the country. Thank you for highlighting the impact the sisters make in their communities. And thank you for allowing me to be a pilgrim on this beautiful journey. I am grateful for the opportunity to meet some of the other women Catholic Extension supports and to witness the amazing ways their “yes” gives hope.

I return from the pilgrimage questioning how my own “yes” makes a difference. Am I saying “yes” to God’s will with action? What are the peripheries where I can reach out to others – in my family and in my community? What about your “yes”? 

I close with the Holy Father’s words during his private audience with the sisters and the Catholic Extension pilgrims: “I encourage you as well to continue to express ‘God’s style’ in the work that you do. God’s style is never distant, detached or indifferent. Instead, it is one of closeness, compassion and tender love. This is God’s style: closeness, compassion and tender love. God is like this, this is his style.”

We want Easter, not the Via Dolorosa. We want springtime, but not the storms. We want the joys, but not the sorrows.

While we might try to hide or run away from the trials on our path, the truth is, we need to confront what stands before us, trusting always in the Lord to give us the strength and courage to get through the storm. We can also learn to see suffering, in all its forms and sizes, as a gift, as a part of our sanctification. 

In the “Maxims and Counsels of St. Francis de Sales,” the saint advises us to, “Say frequently in the midst of your contradictions and sufferings, ‘This is the path to heaven.’” These words help us see suffering with a new perspective. If this (suffering) is the path to heaven, we should thank God for the moments in our life that sanctify us. 

St. Josemaría Escrivá reminds us of this in many of his writings. “When you receive a hard knock, a Cross, you should not be disturbed. Rather, the reverse: with a happy face you should give thanks to God.” (#776, The Forge)

He notes in “The Way,” a collection of 999 counsels, “Jesus suffers to carry out the will of the Father, and you, who also want to carry out the most holy will of God, following the steps of the Master, can you complain if you meet suffering on your way?” (#213)

In the Gospels, we hear the conditions of discipleship: “Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me (Mt. 16:24).”

During Lent, our 40 days in the desert, we have an opportunity to be transfigured, to renew our faith life, to reflect, repent, and recommit ourselves to our pilgrimage route to heaven. Praying the stations of the Cross is a Lenten devotion which focuses our attention on Christ’s Passion. The stations invite us to walk with Christ, to accompany him, and to think about our own Via Dolorosa – moments when we have been betrayed or humiliated, moments of suffering. His sacrifice also speaks of his love for us. 

No matter the season our attention on the Cross should never cease. As St. Francis de Sales tells us in “Introduction to the Devout Life,” “Gaze often inwardly upon Jesus Christ crucified, naked, blasphemed, falsely accused, forsaken, overwhelmed with every possible grief and sorrow, and remember that none of your sufferings can ever be compared to his, either in kind or degree, and that you can never suffer anything for him worthy to be weighed against what he has borne for you.”

In addition to this, St. Josemaría Escrivá advised, “Whenever you see a poor, wooden cross, uncared for, worthless … and without a corpus, don’t forget that the cross is your cross – the everyday hidden cross, unattractive and unconsoling – the cross that is waiting for the corpus it lacks; and that corpus must be you.” (#178, The Way)

Crosses come in all shapes and sizes and carry different levels of suffering – the loss of a loved one; the fear and pain of an illness; the sorrow of perceived treatment from a friend or co-worker; the fatigue and challenges that come from taking care of our families – raising children, caring for our aging parents; the sorrow of a loved one who is not practicing their faith. Daily I pray that my daughter will return to the Church. I look to St. Monica for inspiration to maintain hope.

It pains me as well to witness other loved ones who have pushed God out of their lives. Some view me with disdain when I try to give witness to God’s graces. Some even accuse me of being overzealous or too pious, and there are some who mock me. Some simply do not understand. 

Each season of our lives comes with transitions, losses, and joys, challenges, and frustrations. All of them sanctifying moments, with opportunities to say, “Thank you, Jesus. This is my path to heaven.” For as Our Lady of Lourdes said to St. Bernadette, “I do not promise to make you happy in this life, but in the next.”

Many saints in their writings offer us advice and reflections on the gift of the Cross and redemptive aspect of carrying our own cross.  (See page 11.) I invite you to read them and respond to the reflection questions. I invite you as well to see how many times you can thank the Lord each day.

My 90-year-old mother-in-law means well. Perhaps she thinks she is showing compassion when she tells me, “Ay, pobrecita” when she sees that I am tired when I get home from work. After hearing the phrase from her more than a dozen times I recognized the weight of the word. I offered her an alternative word — Bendecida. 

Pobrecita. Bendecida. Two words. Poor little thing. Blessed. 

Pobrecita, while well intentioned, weighs you down. Bendecida lifts you up; gives glory to God.

Our conversation reminded her that as a mother of five she too heard those words years ago when her children were young and she visited her family in Corpus Christi. Having traveled with all five of them on a bus, her sister would comment, “Ay, pobrecita”. My mother-in-law said each time she heard those words, she countered that she did not think her children a burden, she saw them as a blessing, even with the work required to tend to each of them.

Pope Francis in his remarks before the Angelus on Feb. 27 at St. Peter’s Square spoke about how in the Gospel that day, “Jesus invites us to reflect on the way we look and the way we speak. Our gaze and our speech.”

Reflecting on our speech, Pope Francis notes, “From the way a person speaks, you can tell straight away what is in their heart. The words we use say who we are. At times, though, we pay scarce attention to our words and we use them superficially. But words carry weight.”

“Let us ask ourselves what type of words we use: words that express care, respect, understanding, closeness, compassion, or words that aim mainly to make us look good in front of others? And then, do we speak mildly or do we pollute the world by spreading venom: criticizing, complaining, feeding widespread aggression?”

Lera Boroditsky, a professor of cognitive science at the University of California San Diego, addressed the power of words in a TEDWomen 2017 talk titled, “How the language that you speak shapes the way that you think.”

In an article she wrote for Scientific American. She notes, “The way we think influences the way we speak, but the influence also goes the other way. … Studies have shown that changing how people talk changes how they think.”

Think for a minute about words we have heard and words we have spoken.

In the morning, instead of saying, “Oh, my, I am dreading all my to do’s today,” you can begin with prayer, “Lord help me today, give me direction and strength to carry out each task for your greater glory.”

Think of the difference between saying, “I have to go to work,” versus “I get to go to work.”

What about the words we use in our own families. Do we use words that edify and motivate or words that handicap and leave scars?

Dr. Ricardo Castañon Gomez, a clinical psychologist who specializes in brain biochemistry and who has participated in studies of Eucharistic miracles, speaks throughout the world about the power of words and how they impact the brain.

In his talk last year for Evangelio Publico, “El impacto de la palabra en el cerebro” (The impact of the word on the brain), he said words can be like a scalpel, our words can wound.

“You are not going to allow someone to come at you with a razor and cut your skin because that would hurt you,” he said, “but sometimes we allow ourselves to say things that pierce our brain and form neural imprints.” He notes that while an apology may be offered the next day for what was said, the problem is not resolved because the neural imprint has already been made. In fact, remembering the words can feel like you are hearing them all over again. 

Each encounter with another can create a pleasant experience or a negative one. Depending on the circumstances our body will react and produce a chemical discharge from the brain. 

A pleasant experience will produce dopamine which is often referred to as “happy hormones,” and serotonin, which is also involved with mood and emotions. However, a negative or insulting word activates the amygdala in the brain which processes emotions like fear and anger. 

Dr. Castañon Gomez offers that we need to be people who carry beautiful words, constructive words. The world needs this, he said.

How unfortunate that we see social media and other digital platforms flooded with words meant to wound. Sometimes people don’t even recognize how their words impact another. Rather than speaking person to person with purity of intention aimed at understanding one another, comments are shot out into the world like bullets.

We’ve heard the saying, “Think before you speak.” Think too of your intention. When we speak, or type a message, let us be charitable with our words. 

As Pope Francis said, “Words carry weight: they can enable us to express thoughts and feelings, to give voice to the fears we have and the plans we intend to realize, to bless God and others. Unfortunately, however, through our tongue we can also feed prejudices, raise barriers, attack and even destroy.” 

“Let our communication be a balm which relieves pain and a fine wine which gladdens hearts.” (Pope Francis, message for 48th World Communications Day.)

How are your words bringing light into your family, your community, the world? What negative words can you eliminate? Are there ways you can be less critical with your words to another? What is the condition of your heart? Your words are sure to reveal it.

“There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens.” 
(Eccl 3:1).

Every season I’m in, I claim at that moment my favorite. Autumn, however, infuses my days with new energy. While summer can signal a slower pace, as a time with fewer activities on the calendar, a time for some vacation days, fall for me signals action. No matter my age, this season triggers my inner child anticipating a new school year, new beginnings, more so for me than the New Year.

True, our South Texas heat deprives us of the changing colors of the leaves and cooler temperatures, but we do get hints of fall. With this new season, I welcome the opportunities to start fresh, to look at the calendar and plan out the months ahead, to look for ways to better serve the Lord.

I return with new energy after taking some time to restore myself while on pilgrimage.

My husband and I made a pilgrimage in August to Lourdes, France. Our impromptu journey blessed us with some uninterrupted time together to rest from our day-to-day obligations and restore ourselves as we explored different sites and opened ourselves to new experiences and encounters.

We had not traveled oversees since the pandemic. On our last trip, in 2019, we participated in the procession for the Feast of the Assumption in Paris beginning at Notre Dame Cathedral and ending with Mass at Saint-Sulpice Parish. The thought of participating once again was a driving factor for our visit. Unfortunately, we did not get the grace to attend this year.

The fruits of our pilgrimage come from attending Mass at different holy sites. In addition to our time in Lourdes and celebrating Mass at the grotto, we also participated in Mass at the Chapel of Our Lady of the Miraculous Medal in Paris, where the Blessed Virgin Mary appeared in 1830 to a novice, St. Catherine Laboure, and at the Basilica of Sacré Coeur (Sacred Heart), where for more than 125 years perpetual Eucharistic adoration continues.

However, Lourdes stands as the main highlight. We felt blessed in this holy site that we could immerse ourselves in prayer. We also felt the responsibility of maintaining a prayerful disposition as we carried prayer intentions entrusted to us from loved ones back home.

People come from all over the world to Lourdes, the site where the Blessed Mother appeared to St. Bernadette on 18 separate occasions in 1858 and introduced herself as the Immaculate Conception. They come to immerse themselves in the healing waters from the springs that flow from the Grotto, where the Virgin Mary instructed Bernadette to “go and drink at the spring and wash yourself there.”

To date, of the 7,000-plus cases of unexplained cures, 70 cases are recognized as miraculous healings.  How to begin to count the small miracles imparted, those not always visible? I believe we need to celebrate the everyday miracles of finding forgiveness, of renewing our faith, of inspiring us to work for a stronger relationship with Jesus Christ, with his mother, and with those in our lives.

I was moved by the hundreds of volunteers who pay their way to Lourdes to offer freely of their time to help the thousands of pilgrims who come daily to the sanctuary. I was awe struck by the visible testament of all the pilgrims who participate in the evening processions. The image of pilgrims praying the rosary together in different languages, the thousands of candles held up in the dark, gives witness to the hope in the world, to the trust that God is leading us on this pilgrimage.

In these days, where discord among people and nations seems to be growing, these lights in the darkness demonstrate that we, through God’s guidance, are the hope for the world, by our actions, our works of mercy toward one another, shine God’s light.

Action. This word brings me back to autumn, these days of new beginnings, and to the energy we need to report for duty for doing our part to build up the Kingdom. To maintain a steady pace, we need Jesus Christ front and center, starting with him present in the Eucharist.

The U.S. bishops are leading a Eucharistic Revival to reawaken us to this great mystery of our faith. In everything we do, let’s make sure to spend time with the Lord and to prepare ourselves for each encounter with him at Mass. We don’t have to go on pilgrimage to distant places to find him. Start with your parish church.

One joy we are grateful to share in this season of our lives arrived on March 26, the day after the feast of the Annunciation – the birth of our first grandson, Aquinas More Riojas. We rushed to Houston to meet him,  leaving all the pending behind in Harlingen, and so began a new love story. What a special grace that he was born as Mass was offered for him in a local parish. Since his arrival we have relished every moment spent with this little human who has further bonded our families. What follows is an open letter to my son and daughter-in-law.

Dear Cesar and Tiffany:

Thank you for the gift of our first grandson. The joy of meeting him soon after his birth, and the thrill of seeing him grow these first three months of his life fills our hearts to new depths we did not know possible.

As new parents, you are experiencing new extremes of joys and sorrows as well. The joys of cuddling him in your arms, watching your precious son grow, even as sleep deprivation makes the hours feel like a jumble of feedings and diaper changes. Trying to sooth his crying makes your own yearning for a nap feel like a luxury.

At the Benedictine Monastery of the Good Shepherd, before we end our monthly gatherings, we each share our joys and sorrows. These moments allow us to grow together, to celebrate and to pray for one another, recognizing “If [one] part suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if one part is honored, all the parts share its joy” (1 Cor 12:26).

Among our joys on becoming first-time grandparents is witnessing how as a young family you are walking in the light of Christ, intentional about raising future saints; witnessing too, how through each step of the pregnancy – from choosing your son’s name, selecting godparents, and receiving him into the world, you asked for God’s guidance. How you, Cesar, went to confession the day he was born so that you could receive him in a state of grace. How you, Tiffany, offered up your labor pains for the conversion of those in our family who have veered away from the faith. How as a new mother you are embracing your role and referring to it as an apostolate of motherhood. How already you are sharing with your son the virtues through a children’s book you have written in his honor.

This summer, your stay in our home graced us with four generations living together, starting with the oldest Riojas, Aquinas’ great grandmother Pila of 90 years, and ending with Aquinas himself, the youngest Riojas in the family. Together we celebrated new beginnings and at the same time navigated different transitions in our lives.

A year ago, Pope Francis established a celebration for World Day for Grandparents and Elderly on the fourth Sunday of July. Over the course of these two years, he has provided ongoing catechesis on our elders. He talks often about the responsibility of passing on the faith, and of being artisans of a “revolution of tenderness.”

During some of Aquinas’ fussy moments, the tenderness of a 90-year-old grandmother offered him comfort and delight. His face beamed when she sang to him the songs she once sang to her own children. One of his favorites - “Papitas, papitas para mamá, las quemaditas para papá y las tortillas son para mí”.

Your father and I embrace our new role as grandparents. We recognize the responsibility that comes with it. We look forward to seeing Aquinas grow and pray we can be around a bit longer to see a few more grandchildren. Aquinas’ birth gifts us an abundance of joy. To an extent, he places us in a bubble of bliss that outside forces – the evil that roams in the world – cannot penetrate while we are in his presence. However, everyday life presents us with both roses and thorns.

Among those roses is the Supreme Court’s decision June 24 to overturn Roe v. Wade; the thorns, the forces that continue to look for ways to justify the killing of innocent babies. You will encounter roses and thorns closer to home – the joys and sorrows of raising a family. It will be messy. There will be laughter. There will be tears. But every stop of the way there will be an abundance of graces.

Along with all the joys of a new baby, you feel the sorrows that intrude in the day – fear of an uncertain future for your son in a world mired by division and unrest, a world where many have turned away from God. Amidst the joys of his first months of life, we were confronted by war in Ukraine and other the senseless acts violence in our nation – 19 children and two adults killed in Uvalde, 53 migrants found dead in a tractor-trailer in San Antonio, seven killed during a Fourth of July parade in Highland Park, Illinois. The headlines, a litany of sorrows. Do not despair. Trust always in the Lord.

Remain firm in your faith. Look to the saints for examples. Hold tight to the joys in your life. Gather them all. Pope Francis in Evangelii Gaudium, the Joy of the Gospel, shared, “… joy is not expressed the same way at all times in life, especially in moments of great difficulty. Joy adapts and changes, but it always endures, even as a flicker of light born of our personal certainty, when everything is said and done, we are infinitely loved.”

“In the midst of darkness something new always springs to life and sooner or later produces fruit. On razed land life breaks through, stubbornly yet invincibly. However, dark things are, goodness always re emerges and spreads. Each day in our world beauty is born anew, it rises transformed through the storms of history.” (Evangelii Gaudium, 276)

As you journey together on this pilgrimage and raise your family, “Consider it all joy” (Jas 1:1). The Lord accompanies you always. Remember his presence in the Eucharist. May it nourish you, and may you find ways to share the blessings and graces in your life with others. By loving and caring for your family, you are doing your part to bring peace in the world.

With all my love,
Mom (aka Nana Riojas)

Have you ever been called out for not listening to the person in front of you? I am guilty. My husband has on more than one occasion stopped in mid-sentence while talking to me when he sees that I am not even looking in his direction, my attention focused on a text message or some other distraction Not only is that rude and disrespectful on my part, but it is also not conducive to active listening.

As we move forward on our Synod journey called for by Pope Francis, Bishop Daniel E. Flores tells us we must “make a special effort to listen to one another.”

Let’s consider first our understanding of the word “listening.”

Sometimes we might think we are listening, but I have observed too often, that people are more intent on speaking. Rather than truly listening to what another person is saying, some are simply waiting for their turn to have their say.

Listening takes effort. We have to ascertain if we are truly listening to someone with the goal of understanding and learning from another. Or are we intent on putting forward our own opinions without a genuine willingness to listen to another, to respect that we each may have a different opinion? After all, we each come from diverse backgrounds and cultures.

Beginning with our families at home and the early lessons we received in communication from our parents, we each have different realities and different approaches.

Active & Compassionate Listening

For active listening the essentials include time, respect and patience.

First, we must be fully present. Silence your phone and set it aside. If we start with the understanding that to listen is to be present for another, we can proceed with the intention of hearing another, of gifting another our time and attention. We show our respect by acknowledging that in that moment, the person before us has our full attention.

Don’t be impatient for your turn to talk. We don’t have to do all the talking to fill what we call in radio “dead air.” Give another time to share their story, opinion, thoughts or concern. Wait for the person to finish what they have to say. Repeat or paraphrase what you heard to confirm you understood what they meant.
 
A key to listening is word choice and meaning - making sure we share an understanding of the words used. At times the same word may be interpreted differently. Let’s remember when it comes to language, we are navigating “a maze of little streets and squares,” as the philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein noted in his book Philosophical Investigations.
 
Practice compassionate listening. Listen with your eyes, but also with your whole body. Listen to what the person before you wants to share or needs to share with you. St. Benedict advised we listen with the ear of the heart.

Sometimes our own preconceptions get in the way. We want people to think as we do.

Stephen Covey, in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families, lists listening as Habit 5: Seek first to understand … Then to be understood.

“Really listening to get inside another person’s mind and heart is called ‘empathic’ listening. It’s listening with empathy. It’s trying to see the world through someone else’s eyes.”

In these days when the current climate in the world demonstrates that many are not listening, I highly recommend we take some time to evaluate our own listening skills.

What is your level of interest in the other person? Can you set aside your own biases and agenda? Identify the obstacles that get in your way of actively listening to another. Perhaps it is impatience, or pride thinking you have all the answers. Or maybe it is past hurts and experiences. What is your disposition at the time — are you tired or have another matter that is distracting you?

Perhaps as we look at how we can each take part in the Synod, we can schedule some time with our families to talk about the art of listening. A good starting point is reading together the chapter on Habit 5 in the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families.

At the core of listening is love. Our Lord, Jesus Christ tells us: “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another (Jn. 13:34)."

No matter how often I clear a surface, it acts like a magnet. My dining room table, which I often use as a desk at home, tends to get cluttered quickly. My mind, prone to distraction, struggles to maintain focus. Before I can continue writing, I must create a clean space to work.

As we move forward in this New Year, I suggest we take some time to clear out the old, declutter the excess, and make room for the new. This is true for our physical space as well as our mental space.

For some motivation, I pulled two books from my bookshelf:

• Theology of Home: Finding the Eternal in the Everyday by Carrie Gress, Noelle Mering, and Megan Schrieber.
•  The Joy of Less: A Minimalist Guide to Declutter, Organize, and Simplify by Francine Jay, Miss Minimalist.

1. Take a moment to consider what attachments — including past goals, unfinished projects, or unhealthy thoughts, relationships, or habits — you have that could be released. What clutter is getting in your way?


2. Consider a space that brings you peace. How could you replicate that feeling in your own life?


3. Recognizing that this takes time, we can set some manageable goals. For example, what is one thing you want to work on decluttering in the first half of the year? Then monthly, ask yourself: What is the one thing I want to declutter this month?